Past the Tipping Point: Targeted by bullies, teen hangs himself in schoolyard

Shouldn't we all remember that this is a tragedy that involves bullying. Children are easily traumatized by other children.  It doesn't matter whether a child is gay, over-weight, shy, studious, poor etc. Children haven't learned coping skills and this type of trauma can be devastating.  This isn't a political issue...this is a family issue.  Parents need to grow up themselves and teach their children.  Until parents get it right, this will never stop.  I pray for this young man and his family.  Pay attention to your own children.  Watch for 'peer pressure' bullying.  Don't let it be your child some day.

Liberal Societies are Hopeless Societies, as they immasculate their males, the males seek female solutions, but tend to be more lethal when embracing suicide. Immasculated males are easy to spot, they tend to be vegan, anti-gun, liberal, an embarrassment to any decent man. When communities are subjected to the social frailties of Liberalism, those lost in such societies look for strength and validation, it makes them ripe for Skinhead types, who possess a group strength, human beings abhor weakness and will move immediately into a tribal situation which reflects collective strength, this also gives them an identity which is actually more intoxicating then the collective strength. The bullies do not respect weakness and exploit it, stop teaching weakness and there will be nothing for them to exploit. Violence is the answer.

I feel so bad for this young man's family and friends. I am now in my mid-thirties, but I can relate to Jadin. Starting in grade school, I was bullied by many different kids. Sometimes the hostile, out-right bullying, other times it was just a pointed exclusion and refusal to let me join in. I was already different. I was shy, quiet, unsure of myself, and had a very creative streak with a vivid imagination that I loved to use. Also, we were poor. Poor was a crime. Poor couldn't get the $95 sneakers or the new must-have, trendy hyper-color (gee, does this date me!) t-shirts.

 

By the time I got to junior high, I was so withdrawn that I didn't know how to go about making connections or friends. Then it got worse. (I didn't grow up in Oregon.) We had an influx of skinheads and KKK members who had started actively recruiting in the junior high and high schools of the area. Somebody, whom I had considered a friend, came up to me in the library and started going on about how she had been approached to join the skinhead group. I was so shocked, and shy, that I couldn't formulate any response to such an awful idea. I don't think that I spoke once during her whole conversation! I can't remember much, but I remember at the end she said, "Thanks for listening! I just didn't know who I could turn to, but you are just SO WHITE (I was and am very pale in complexion) that I knew that you would understand!" I realized that I was trembling after she left, and ran to the bathroom and cried. I wondered if my skin coloring was the reason one girl picked on me so bad that I had to switch schools (she was black). I felt physically sick.

 

After that, school was no longer a comfortable place. I had so very few connections. I felt invisible. And I was constantly worried if the me people saw was a true reflection of who I was... or if they just really didn't see me.

 

I have never told anybody this, but I contemplated suicide all of the time. However, It always came back to me being invisible. If I was invisible to all of those people in my schools, then my killing myself would have no effect on them... and it would only hurt my family. I battled with depression... silently and on my own. In the end, I managed to finish high school, create a few good memories, and then get the h3!! out of there. I know that I was lucky.

 

I am now a mother (hence my screen name!), of two wonderful sons. Both are in grade school now. We talk about what bullying is, how other people feel, and stepping in and speaking up. As a mother, I know that my responsibility is to teach my children right from wrong, good from bad, and acceptable from unacceptable. We start by limiting what media input (tv, movies, games, computer, internet, etc.) they are allowed. This will continue until they no longer live under my roof and with my rules. If they ever get Facebook while at home, there will be rules. I will have complete access to the account, and I will have to approve their friends list. I know that the steps I take are the first steps that need to be taken to make sure that this doesn't continue... I hope that others step up and take whatever steps they can also (be they parents, teachers, school administrators, coaches, ministers, or whomever).

You can't put the blame on the teachers, the parents of these kids are the problem, and if your a parent trying to get revenge on the bullies with a 44, pull your head out, what good are you going to be when your in prison.  Set an example don't be an idiot.

I taught my son to take care of things himself. NOT to start anything, but to finish it if need be. He only had to do a once. People, have taken away all the rights of the teachers, to do any kind of discipline to the children that do these things.....so what they heck do you expect???? The ones that don't discipline at home, don't want it done a school either, so there ya get the bullies. Deal with it. Until you allow the teachers to do some kind of discipline in school, then its going to be this way. When I was in school, our teachers had "hack boards" if you got too out of hand, they used it on your butt. And very few ever got hit with it, I tell you what, we were afraid to misbehave because there were consequences! And not pleasant ones like sitting on our hands. And guess what, not one of the kids I went to school with, that got hit with that, got in trouble again! Those of us that all we needed to do was see that thing, knowing what it was, because I got spankings at home....behaved. simple. I got spankings, yep, so did my son....and we don't go around  hitting people, we don't kill people, but we do understand the value of a human life, and we understand there are sometimes unpleasant consequences for our actions. If there are no consequences allowed for the ones doing the bullies, its not gonna stop folks.

When my son was in first grade, he had a bully after him. My son did everything right, notified his teacher and the office, tried to befriend the kid, when that failed he avoided him as much as possible. He kept me updated, but he was sure he could handle it himself. It was hard, but I knew it was something he had to try, and I assured him if he needed me to come to the school and help him, I would be there in minutes. Finally my son asked for help, not because the bully had pushed him down again, right beside an adult who was supervising their recess, but because the bully then pushed down a little girl who tried to defend my son. Yes, I was there in minutes. I am old school and a momma bear. The entire school knew I was there. By the time I was done, I had the principal, 2 vice principles and half the office staff in the room with me. They were very unhappy with me when I told them what I had told my son. "The next time he tries to hurt you, you just knock him on his butt HARD. You will get in trouble with the school honey, but when Momma comes and gets you, we will go out for ice cream." They told me I was encouraging violence, and I told them I was encouraging self defense and that I needed to, since the people I had entrusted my son to couldn't or wouldn't protect him. The bullying ended, but not because of anything the school did. Apparently I was loud enough I could be heard in my son's class room. My son smiled at the bully and asked him if he could hear the crazy woman screaming, and when the bully said he could, my son told him that was his momma, and if the bully didn't stop, she was coming for him next.

I have been trying so hard to get a program started, teaching bullied kids self defense for free.  The purpose would be to teach the kids that they have the means to protect themselves, help them establish self confidence, get in shape, and get a sense of belonging. The school district, while seemingly interested at first, turned down my proposal because it was too pugilistic! 

 

So instead, I urge every martial arts school to make their schools safe zones where kids can go if they're scared or being followed/harassed, and save a slot or two for bullied kids to be taught  for free.  Kids can be sent as referrals from teachers, other school admins, clergy, etc.

 

As a community we have failed if we can't protect our children, so let's do our part to help.

An extremely sad case!  Another young and beautiful life extinguished.  Bullying is never acceptable.  We as parents must do more to teach our children the value of accepting others and accepting diverse beliefs.

 

Thank you, KVAL, for posting the list of resources.

In my fight with the school dist i found administrators with their heads shoved so far up their buts it was scary. physical harm and verbal death threats meant nothing to them, I actually went to the parents house to kill the father with a 44 until I saw the living conditions and life style of mom and dad, then i felt sorry for the kids and us, thats when I got very upset at the school for being the truly failing part of the system

How heartbreaking for the family. Kids are mean, and worst by the teen years. Having your child feel so closed off and tormented that they do not want to live at such a tender age is sad - touches my heart.

 

I personally feel the aggressive behavior is not addressed in the home. I am not saying it is only a parenting problem but it is part of bullies not being addressed properly.

 

Example: I addressed my neighbor on his son's passive aggressive bulling of my grand daughter, he chased her down with a large remote control car, she tried to get out of the way, fell skinned her knee's hands and covered in mud..she came to me crying - did the boy apologize? no he laughed and wanted to continue once she was down. When I approached the father, asking that his son be adult supervised with these large remote cars built for racing, he yelled and screamed at me, went to the end of the driveway and yelled at the top his lungs what a f**ken B**ch I was so that all the neighbors knew. This man is 40 years old and father of twins. He felt I was questioning his parenting.....and maybe I was considering.

With a parent like this....what do you think the boy is being taught at home which is where children get the base of interactions with others.

I am a grand mother doing the raising a child by myself AGAIN, I know for a fact I learned a few things the first time around - Children learn from home what is and is not acceptable in society - where else are they going to learn? From the TV? pppffffttt. TV is another part of this - paying attention to what is being watched - it has a huge influence.

Some children are just difficult, plain and simple, no matter what they have behavior problems that go beyond normal parenting issues.

 

It begs the question of what parents can do to put it in the heads of their kids the belief that no matter how bad things get, you don't go an off yourself.

This breaks my heart I was bullied in school and it's something I have always taught my children was deeply wrong and to speak up if they see it happening. We have lost our way as a nation! Parents need to be involved with their children and not the gov.

I hope his struggle with acceptance, his living or dying with the harrassment imposed by others does not go unpunished.  Those responsible for the bullying, and those that stood by and did nothing are equally responsible for this tragedy.