'The majority of the people in the room know somebody who is being abused'
THURSTON, Ore. -- At first, the questions came hesitantly. But after the petite abuse survivor started answering, questions from Thurston High School students flowed more freely.
Can guys be abused too?
Did she leave her abuser because of her children?
What are ways you can be abused?
Did he beat you?
Angela Jaster answered the questions at the Monday assembly, the first in a series of presentations for Abuse Prevention Awareness Week at the school.
Yes, guys are also abused.
Yes, her children motivated her to leave.
Abuse can take many forms. Physical abuse, emotional put downs, isolating the victim from their friends and family.
Jaster said her abuser, for example, never physically harmed her. Instead, he berated her in public, put her down and physically intimdated her, blocking the door to their home with his body so she could not leave him.
Jaster, the Youth Program Director at Womenspace, left her abuser seven years ago. At the time, she was homeless, pregnant with her third child and had already spent seven years with him.
After the assembly, Jaster said she hoped her story would take the shame out of being an abuse victim.
"I could easily be out there in that audience. I was a teenager when I got into this relationship," said Jaster, gesturing into the audience. "The reality is, the majority of the people in the room know somebody who is being abused or are being abused themselves. To be able to speak out about that, even to one other person, is huge in getting help."
The assembly's organizers, a pair of Thurston students, hope Jaster's story is eye-opening for their classmates. One in five teens who have been in a serious relationship say they've been hit, slapped or pushed, according to the National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline. The same study found one in four teens have been pressured to spend time only with their boyfriend or girlfriend.
"I actually had a teacher ask me this morning, aren't only poor people or uneducated people abused?" said organizer Lyndie Stephens, a junior "The answer is no, it crosses all lines. Educational, racial, economic."
Along with junior Stephens, Annie Jo Sinclair organized Assault Prevention Awareness Week. Each day, a different group of students will hear from someone about relationship violence--from Springfield Police Chief Jerry Smith to representatives from Sexual Assault Support Services.
Sinclair said she's had friends involved in abusive relationships.
"Definitely, especially since they didn't even know it," she said. "Even though it wasn't physical, it was controlling."
The students began studying teen relationship violence for a school project in 2008. They regulary speak with Thurston's health classes about abusive relationships, but would like Oregon to make healthy relationships curriculum mandatory.
"The repetitiveness is what gets through to them," said Stephens. "If one day they're texting and the next day they're, oh maybe I should listen or I've heard this before, then it's going to get through to them and that's the most important thing."
